I was at the mall with my HOPE taskforce team yesterday doing random acts of kindness for strangers. The day was winding down, and as we talked about leaving, a girl caught our eye. She was all alone on a bench, sitting cross-legged in sweatpants and had her hair done up in a messy ponytail. She looked like she was about 25 or so, but her eyes had this haunted look to them. Our group leader suggested that one of us go and talk to her and see if we could cheer her up. But all of us shuffled by on our way to the door, none of us saying a word. As we walked by, I made eye contact with her and flashed a genuine smile. Her eyes were so empty, and her face was completely expressionless. I was so close... so close to going over and sitting next to her, and just asking if she was ok. But I turned my head and walked out the door, my feet dragging. My head was screaming at me to turn around and just go talk to her. But my legs kept moving me outside, down the street, past the runners, and back to the bus.
I've thought about that girl probably 20 times today. I've felt alone so many times, and it would have meant the world to me to have someone show that they care. I have no idea what that girl was going through, or even if I would have made a difference in her life. But I wish that I would have at least tried.
What is it that scares us about putting ourselves out there? Is it that hard to step down from our podium of pride and lift someone up to where we stood? There's a quote by Ann Voskamp that says, "In the upside-down kingdom of heaven, down is up, and up, is down." If we want to grow in our relationship with God, we have to swallow our pride and stoop low. That's something God's going to have to work with me on, because I'm sure not there yet!
These are such good thoughts! I've had the same inhibitions, the same struggle in my head. I think the prompting is often God, and the more I respond to it, the better I feel I get at hearing it...I still feel pretty bad at it though. Thanks for writing this. :)
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