I write because I don't have another choice. Somehow, my emotions come out best in writing, and posting it online seems to be another outlet... knowing someone else will someday read and just maybe understand. Someday things are going to get better. I'm going to be able to sleep at night without the horrible, crazy dreams. I'm going want to actually face my day in the morning. I'm going to be able to work out and be outside as much as I want. I'm going to find someone who really fits me, someone who truly knows me.
I'm so tired of not having all the answers. I have friends going through major relationship problems. Breakups, fighting, abuse, miscommunication, jealousy, anger... the list goes on. I don't have any of the answers. Sometimes I sit next to a girl who is either near or in tears, and I don't even know what to say. I don't have any of the solutions to my problems, and I certainly don't have any solutions to their problems. I feel so helpless, and yet so responsible. I feel like if I'm not the one there for everyone around me, who will be? Everyone in this world feels so alone... it's such a universal dilemma. And somehow I nominated myself to fix it.
It's so easy to forget to take care of myself. It's so easy to forget that I have feelings too. It's easy to bottle everything up and hide it all from the world.
It's hard to face it.
And I guess that's what brings me here. Writing about what bothers me, what brings me true joy and posting it where I know eventually it will be read... it brings some sort of release. A release of anger, pain, joy, euphoria. And through this selfish little blog, I'm sharing it with you.
I hear you. Loud and clear. If you want a really good book about writing....it's called Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I think you would like her! :) I know I do! Keep on writing, Em. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome! Thanks! I really needed a new book to read! I'll definitely check it out :)
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